Compassion Over Judgment

 "Most often when we assume something, we are doing so from a place of JUDGMENT. The problem with this is that JUDGMENT KILLS COMPASSION, and without compassion, no one can feel known and understood, which ultimately OBLITERATES TRUE AUTHENCITY AND CONNECTION.

Assuming the worst about someone is my attempt to protect myself from the way I think they see me. Most often this is a reaction to my low self-esteem, and or trauma from my past relationships."

-Jason Vallotton, Social Media post from January 27, 2021, emphasis mine

Recently I have been hurt by people very near and dear to my heart 💔 I simply asked for their support during a difficult time, but instead they ended up wounding me very deeply 😭 The last thing I needed was even more stress in my life 😖

I tried my best to understand where they were coming from. However, I am ashamed to admit 😞 I got extremely upset and responded back in kind 😡 In my defense, although it is no excuse, I was in no position to receive what they were "telling" me. It was pointed out to me that I was suffering from post traumatic stress disorder. During that time of intense psychological trauma, I needed others to listen to me. Not give me a lecture and make me feel like the wrong-doer.

Now I see that I was assuming the worst from them and gave to them what I thought they were giving me. Judgment 😰

Growing up as an only child meant that I grew up quite lonely and feeling very isolated. I learned to "take care of myself" and be self-sufficient. However, I longed to fit in and feel like I belonged to others. Unfortunately, due to childhood trauma, I never really did.

Until I surrendered it all to the Creator of the Universe and the One True Living God 🙇

Do not get me wrong. I also got deeply hurt by other "Christians" 😣 I could not understand why they keep mistreating me the way they do, and are not even remorseful about it! Here I am just trying to help them, and what do I get? 😑 No wonder Christians have such a bad reputation nowadays...

I want to let you know, dear reader, that I am not a Christian and am active at a local church because of my fellow Christians 😬 No. I consider myself a Christian because I honestly and sincerely believe in GOD 🙏 I believe in a Sovereign Being who is nothing but pure good, pure righteousness, absolute holiness, and just has compassion in His heart 💗

I need to believe that this same Sovereign Being can take all of my hurt, pain, guilt, shame, and trauma and make them go away. Otherwise, what other  way can I cope?

Alcohol? Please. How long does that really last? Plus, how "helpful" is it really? Drugs? See alcohol. Relationships? Umm... How does depending on another broken being with their own trauma help me get over mine?

At least that is how it is for me 😅 I do not know about you, but truly believing in this Sovereign Being with all of my heart has helped me tremendously 😇 I am not exaggerating when I say I would have died some time ago otherwise 😩 Now, I will acknowledge that receiving help from other sources can be beneficial too. But see what I think about how relying on relationships works out earlier. I am just saying it can only go so far.

However with God? Relying on a Sovereign Being who is infinite and has no limit to how much HE can take? 🤔 Just something to think about...

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